Typical feedback conversations create loads of uncertainty. For both sides. The tougher the feedback the greater the fear. Our autonomic nervous system goes into over-drive mode: we sweat, our heart pounds, we get angry.
But no matter what, always appreciate and say ‘thank you’ for the feedback received (especially when it comes from your team members). That’s a true blessing.
There are three triggers (of truth, relationship and integrity) that cause a negative reaction to feedback, at the same time taking away the opportunity of hearing and using it.
Where to start? There is a great book by S. Heen and D. Stone with many practical feedback tips & tricks included (photo below).
And also try these:
#1: ASK FOR feedback rather than passively wait for receiving it. NLI’s experimental research has shown that both feedback askers and receivers respond with far less stress and anxiety when the approach is active. The main reason is a sense of control. Over time such a method has far more positive consequences – it makes organizations more agile and innovative.
#2: Try focused-on-future feedforward approach, promoted by Marshall Goldsmith. We use this method during our one-on-one coaching sessions, at LeadershipLab. We are here to help you in mastering this method.